7:06 p.m. - 2007-12-22
Charlie Brown
Well it's three days before Christmas. Merry Ho ho fucking ho. I guess I'm in a bit of a black mood. Tree lights still aren't up and I don't want to do it. Childish of me, isn't it? Or is it oppositional defiance? Or is it trashing a good thing I want by not doing it?

Isn't it great having such marvelous choices?

Charlie Brown got cheered up by a recitation of Christ's Nativity in Luke by Linus. Unfortunately I don't have a good friend who carries a blanket and quotes the bible.

The wife came down with a nasty migraine today. We went to the early yoga class, and unbeknownst to me she's cringing in headache pain and utter frustration half-way through the class. So I gently take her home, put her in a hot epsom salts bath and then to bed with a lovely Imetrex in her system.

She was going to go bake cookies with a friend today, and I was going to go shopping with my brother. (Isn't it great that I need adult supervision so I don't get into trouble being by myself?) Turns out my brother has a migraine too. I was so tired anyway so I took a nap. So much for our planned day of Christmas cheer. And now I don't want to do anything.

Church and haircuts tomorrow. The wife is going to bake cookies tomorrow with her friend. She's worried I'll be left alone and get into trouble. What trouble you may ask. Good question. Difficult to answer.

First of all, I get lonely and depressed when I'm alone. Part of abandonment issues from childhood. I hate having such neat and tidy little definitions. It's taken me years of therapy to understand what's compressed into those trite little words. Got a couple hours? I'll tell you all about it. Suffice to say, my parents were emotionally detached and centered their lives and existence on themselves not me or my siblings.

Second reason for needing adult supervision has to do with my dirty little secret of reading dirty stories online. She's still very, very wary of my spending anytime online.

...

newsflash. The wife woke up from her migraine sleep. Can't stand the thought of me being up by myself and not "doing something". I'll be back later.

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