11:07 a.m. - 2007-12-22
Dilema
I had a hard time sleeping last night. Not because of this thing, but more because we went to a party and I had a few glasses of wine. It's been over three weeks since I've had a thing to drink and my tolerance was low. So I didn't sleep well.

While I wasn't sleeping well I was dwelling on how to keep this private from friends and family, yet feel able to update as often as needed. hmmm... still thinking on that one. The easiest is just to tell the wife that I'm journaling online and I don't want her to look at it. I want it private. Yet I want other anonymous folk to be able to read it. Is that weird?

The big deal with the wife is that she has trust issues with me being online. I used to secretly go read lots and lots of porn stories online. I thought that just _reading_ wouldn't be so bad. Silly me. Of course it was. I was hiding things from her. Things I was ashamed of. She felt violated. And we went through a very rocky time in our marriage. It didn't help that I was also unemployed for many months. So I don't want to break the trust that I've so consciously, steadily been working on.

I'll think more on this. But in the meantime I've got to put the lights on the tree.

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